I Was Here - Gayle Forman

Goodreads summary:

Cody and Meg were inseparable.
Two peas in a pod.
Until . . . they weren’t anymore.

When her best friend Meg drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything—so how was there no warning? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, who broke Meg’s heart. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open—until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.

I Was Here is Gayle Forman at her finest, a taut, emotional, and ultimately redemptive story about redefining the meaning of family and finding a way to move forward even in the face of unspeakable loss.


My review:

4.5/5

So, so, so, so good!!

While I didn't really like If I Stay, I Was Here hit me hard. It made me experience such a wide variety of emotions that I didn't even know I could feel and I loved it.

I loved Cody, the main character. Unlike Mia, who I couldn't really relate to in If I Stay, Cody was a very relatable character for me. I could feel some of her anger, guilt and grief and it made the story much more important to me. Since I have a best friend that I can't imagine living without, having lived most of my life with her by my side, I could imagine a tiny bit of what Cody must feel after her best friend committed suicide, which sounds simply terrible. Her reactions are completely understandable to me, even if I didn't approve all of them. I liked how realistic and not totally likeable she could be, which made me like her even more.

Her friendship with Meg is also very realistic, from the beginning to the end. I could see why they became friends and why they fell apart, which is something that happens often when friends grow up. I'm already terrified to go through something like that with my own best friend, so reading about someone who grew apart from her best friend and then lost her forever scared me even more. It's easy to see why Cody would feel so guilty after Meg's suicide and why she would want to find out what pushed her to do it, but I admired her determination through her quest. Cody's relationship with Meg's parents is a part of the book that I loved, because it's heartbreaking and touching.

Finally, Ben and Cody's relationship was a rollercoaster, but I loved it. I wasn't sure if I approved of Cody's actions, but as the story progressed, I could see things falling into place.

I definitely recommend this book. Whether you liked If I Stay or not, I think you would like this book.

The Last Time We Say Goodbye - Cynthia Hand

Goodreads summary:

There's death all around us.
We just don't pay attention.
Until we do.

The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment.

Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be.

As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything.

Lex's brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn't have to be real to keep you from moving on.

From New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand, The Last Time We Say Goodbye is a gorgeous and heart-wrenching story of love, loss, and letting go.


My review:

5/5

This. Book. *heart eyes* 

This story is absolutely heartbreaking. As an older sister, I've always been overprotective of my little sister, because I feel responsible of her and it seems like I should be the one protecting her and making sure she's happy. Because of that, I could try to imagine what Lex must be feeling and it was already too much for me to bear. Her situation is awful, just like her mother's, and I started this book already saddened by its story. 

This story focuses on Lex's grief and how she copes with her brother's death and I liked how honest and true she was about it. Her feelings are understandable and her distress made me feel really sad for her. I wish I could've helped her when she was at her worst, but I still thought she was doing well, given the circumstances. Her parents made me angry most of the time, because while she pushed her friends away, I don't think she would've pushed her mom away, had she made the move. Her relationship with her dad was trickier, because it deteriorated even before Tyler's suicide. Anyways, Lex's evolution as the story goes is amazing and gave me hope that there's always something better coming when you're having a hard time. 

I was impressed by how realistic Lex's character is. Her dreams, her personality and her reactions were easy to understand for me and, by the time I finished this book, I felt like I knew her pretty well. While it killed me to admit it, I could see why she had tried to get away from her friends and her boyfriend after her brother's suicide, so I couldn't blame her at all. I'm glad they were so kind to her and they kept trying to get her back, because that's the most amazing proof of loyalty I've ever seen and I can only hope that my friends would react that way if something made me push them away like Lex did. 

I really liked this book, as tragic as it is.